Fight for your rights on campus!

For distribution to your college or university’s Title IX Coordinator:

Dear Title IX Coordinator,

As per the Dear Colleague Letter on Title IX Coordinators, we hereby demand that ABDL+ (Adult Baby/Teen Baby/Diaper Lover/Littles/Sissies & Babyfur/Toddlerfur/Littlefur) students be free from sexual discrimination, and receive the same consideration for accommodations as other marginalized groups.  

We are NOT part of a sexual fetish group, ABDL+ is an inclusive group of sexual identities and should be given the same policy considerations LGBTQIA+ students receive. Claiming that the identities of ABDL+ students are fetishes is erasure, it is violence against us.

The ABDL+ community has a very high depression and attempted suicide rate. Teens who find themselves with the insatiable urge to wear and use diapers have nowhere to turn, cultural inclusiveness is nil. We find societal acceptance so low that many of us continue to go through binge/purge cycles, wherein we dispose of our ABDL+ clothing and paraphernalia out of self-hate, then repurchase it in a moment of repressed desire.

We ARE ABDL+. It’s as much a part of us as our race and gender, and it was not a choice any of us consciously made.

Per your requirement to provide a learning environment free from discrimination, we demand the following accommodations to end existing structural impediments to our education:

A. Adult diaper changing areas complete with adult changing tables, sanitary supplies (table covers & wipes), and a sanitary disposal bin designed for soiled diapers and capable of minimizing odors. A hand washing sink should be provided, but a toilet is optional. These areas should be conveniently placed, private, labeled as ADS - Adult Changing Spaces, and provide enough space for both a little and a caretaker. To promote acceptance, we encourage you to make these spaces lively and playful with primary colors and character designs.

B. Student living facilities (dorms, on-campus apartments, etc) should provide both discrete and specialized waste disposal services for ABDL+ students to dispose of soiled diapers, and a discrete delivery mechanism for them to receive new personal care products. Resident assistants should be trained on accommodating these needs as privately as possible.

C. To protect their privacy and personal wellbeing, ABDL+ students living on campus should be provided single dorms, or paired with another member of the ABDL+ community. Forcing a student into a situation other than the two described above causes repression of sexuality and extreme distress often leading to depression. The student would be placed in the horrible position of either outing themselves to a roommate, or attempting the impossible task of hiding their ABDL+ related activities in a small living space. Many may chose not to attend a college or university to avoid this pain. To prevent this, provide accommodations that are easily and privately reserved during the enrollment process.

D. Your guidelines for affirmative consent should be modified to be inclusive to ABDL+ specific situations. For example, ABDL+ friends who are not otherwise sexually involved may change each others diapers. This is sometimes done in a group setting. Despite the fact that it does not usually involve direct sexual acts, it is an extremely personal and intimate activity that should afford all the protections of affirmative consent. The potential diaper changer should ask for permission to perform a diaper change and receive an unambiguous answer. Note that this does not mean that the answer must be the word “yes.” If the person in need of changing is in a regressed little mood they may respond with a nod up and down of the head with a blush, or a babyish “nuuuuuu!” with giggling and a head nod in the affirmative.

Due to the regressed state of mind ABDL+s may be in while enjoying the company of one another, it would be helpful to communicate any boundaries prior to these situations. Potential big/little partners and other participants should inform one another if they’re comfortable with various changing acts.  These involve basic dry diapering, changing of wet diapers (those which have been urinated in), changing of messy diaper (those which the wearer has had a bowel movement in), and the changing of diapers soiled with ejaculate or pre-ejaculate.

Consent also involves coordinating the disposal of soiled disposable undergarments. It is both extremely inconsiderate, and potentially revealing of the privacy of an involved party to dispose of a diaper in a receptacle not set aside for that purpose. ABDL+ meets may set aside special procedures for the disposal of messy diapers, to minimize unpleasant smells in the vicinity.

Many ABDL+s (more often ABs and littles) own and cherish plushies (plush stuffed toys) as part of their age regression activities and increased empathy. These are most often slept and snuggled with. Everyone should receive affirmative consent before touching, hugging, or snuggling with another’s plushie. Failure to do so can be extremely emotionally discomforting. Plushie theft from a member of the ABDL+ community should be taken as seriously as other hate crimes intended to terrorize marginalized groups.

E. Steps should be taken to ensure that learning environments and student life activities provide acceptance and empathy for ABDL+ students. We request that your LGBTQIA+ student union or representative group extend their platform to provide recognition and services for us. A simple ABDL+ themed cuddling and roleplay room would be a great start in making us not just feel safe, but welcome.

Basic introductory courses that educate incoming students on minimizing their cooperation with structures of oppression should be altered to be inclusive to us. These alterations should include talks about diaper shaming, harmful microaggressions towards ABDL+ students, and empathy towards unintended odors that may result from diaper use, just as they often do during toileting.

To further the promotion of a diverse academic environment, we recommend that you open a study of academic inquiry into where ABDL+ experiences fit into cultural studies, critical theory and intersectionalism. Social privilege based on race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, and national origin are popular topics within these spaces. The ABDL+ lived experience of marginality will provide a new lens with which to view the structures of capitalism, colonialism, patriarchy, masculinity, white supremacy, and kyriarchy.

It would be beneficial to begin with the concept of PT privilege, or potty trained privilege – an unearned cultural advantage held by those who are non-ABDL+. Those with PT privilege conform to the social norms dictating when and where they can perform a necessary bodily function, and they uphold an oppressing ideal in which diaper wearing is shameful. You should examine the creation of this privilege by it’s capitalist roots, from the demands of early factory-modeled schooling, to the “I’m a Big Kid Now” slogan of Huggies Pull-Ups. From an early age we are socialized to conform or be ostracized.

We are freeing ourselves from the relentless bounds society has placed upon us – dictating how we can display ourselves, our wellbeing, and our empathy. Whether, for the individual, that is going about their day with a pacifier on a lanyard clip, snuggling a plushie, or diapering and taking care of a biological elimination need on their own terms, we will overcome the forces that seek to marginalize us. We require your assistance.

Thank you for your cooperation,

The ABDL+ Community